Where's number 8?

The only time vegans are appreciated.

I was in my science class and we had to heat a substance over a Bunsen burner, so I tell my lab partner to grab a test tube for me. She returns with it, I put it over the flame, it catches fire and then melts. Turns out she got a plastic one instead of a glass one.

On the 'bad move, O" it's noughts turn.

It's horrible when you have long nails too, they they get stuck in there.

Amen.

It's so much easier when you go out with the same sex.

Some people just need a helpful nudge.

When I complain about being chubby (even though its my own fault) and my friend calls me 'big-boned' I get really mad.

Excuse us.

Gimme dat ass.

It's all fun and fractions until the kid steps on a stray lego.

In England we call that diabetes.

When those like, people were like, y'know, and that dude was like: Yup.

It's a Halloween costume of Miley Cyrus' butt.

May the odds be ever in your favour.

Get back in your own Lego house, Sheeran.

But he will publicly announce it on twitter.