I love strawberries and strawberries love me

This one is really good

DIO?!
ZA WARUDO!!!!!!

"Well, this is fine"

"Got something for me, Peter Parker?"
"Yeah I got some wood"

I'm hoping theres another reason hes looking behind it

Gross. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit

"You think you can just walk into our house like this?"

I love Ghost Stories
"I dont care about your cat it's probably dead"

My mom said each chicken nugget gives her a chance to get pregnant. Child me was so sick of my large number of siblings that I 100% believed her just because I didnt want to risk it
For those curious, I have 9 siblings. 1 full sibling that died, 4 step siblings, and 4 half siblings. My mother is on her third husband who already had 3 kids.

My cats would just chee on them honestly. They're very good kitties except when it comes to paper

My depression is linked to my bipolar disorder. When I get depressed it's more like I'm plagued with eternal boredom and 1 minute feels like an entire work day.

Psh. I can do better
*hands homeless man social security card*
Have fun, buddy

Reap what you sow. Dont take what's not yours

I feel like I keep seeing this pic on here like once a week

I'll be a dirty slut for 5 minutes to get that video

I've been unemployed for a month and dis is me lol I start my new job on the 3rd so it's all good. Had plenty of money saved up so my unemployment is just an extra long vacation

That's not fair for a victim of leaked nudes to lose their job

*shouts to fiance in other room*
BABE! IS SEX REAL?
*shouts back*
IF IT ISNT THEN IM CALLING WHAT WE DO "SAUCY SLAPPING"

They dont have teeth meant for mashing. They gotta whip their prey around so they can RIP it into pieces small enough to be swallowed whole

Poor kid. Not everyone can use the teleprompter