Haha I think my cat would definitely hate me if we were on a deserted island or something and I respected Jainism all of a sudden (she wouldn't know but she'd definitely hate me if I went to mosque to pray 5 times a day for hours without feeding her first, I mean in today's world you don't get a smoke break time is money how do Muslim people even do it) she'd also hate me if I was fatter than her, so appearance too. If I was pale ginger boy or black man in icey dessert and blew our cover to polar bears she'd also hate me. If the island has only fruit I'd eat it and then breastfeed her (if I was pregnant) so gender too. Cats are people. Ethiopians don't hate Americans because they are fat. They're jealous they get to eat.

But he still eats where he shits, does he (I assumed gender)

If he didn't have those nostrils I'd think he's Darth Vader

Oh my god. Poor thing. This is why we don't put moms and kids in the same unit in the US Army. They would never leave them behind the enemy lines. What's that all about, US Army? You send 5 good boys to save 1? Or is it "How did he manage to get behind the lines unharmed, you do it too, and save him. If you get killed that means you're incompetent and you'll die anyway tomorrow or whenever" . It must be this cat's logic too.

Haha I just remembered something that could be a meme. When someone said "fucking house" or "fucking car" or "fucking.. goat" I thought (when I was little) that they're really gonna do it! And with the pouty mouth I cried "Please don't cuss my house"

I would be more scared if this was levitating bear

Cause they wanna sell each and every one. That's good company

Are those quote marks or duct tape

My life

When I watch zombie movies I don't think about people, they'll be dead in 2 months. Top. Starvation, loss of blood and clothes, they'd die out. I can survive that with my basement supplies . They never made a movie "What about month later.. ". They put wolves in The day after tomorrow but, fuck wolves. Do you realize that there are about a billion dogs that would go out of "puppy chow" we (as a human industry) provide them every morning. And that they'll eat 1.5 billion cows in, like, a year. Wild animals in less. And then it starts. I even researched which dog is most likely to survive the apocalypse. Border Collie my ass. I'd put my money on this chump(and his puppies). This girl is probably gonna be queen of the world(so, guest no. 3 comment gets it right). Where are dogoes in 28 weeks later . Don't you forget them in World War z 2. Just remember that movie with island of dogs.

When I was just a little boy, I thought Boy George sang Camacamacamacamellia.. And I also somehow thought Camellia is a place or something, like Camelot, cause of Dame aux camelias from Alexander Dumas son (Lady with/from/in Camellia)

Even if it is a joke, you're all fucked up. If I see this midget in my close proximity I will stab him in the dick repeatedly, if he even has one that is.

MRW too.

When I was little whenever bass drum (not bass drum from the band's drums but bass drum of school orchestra although we don't have that we have turbo-folk trumpet bands cause it's in the same level with my upper body) passes besides me I felt my heart starting to beat in the same beat

Am I pretty or you just THINK I'm pretty?! Oh my gosh I'm glass half empty guy

Yes... but do you have a driver of train (I don't know how it's properly called) admitting on public state TV that he once almost killed hundreds of people in a train wreck cause he pushed brake in orgasm (girl trying not to pay a ticket by bj-ing him). You can always go worse (Serbian)

Fun fact - the code for American nukes activation was 1234 for years

Mmm cancer sticks. In my father's generation they called cigarettes cancer sticks.

O bože bože bože kakvi preljepotani. I had to say it in my language.. They're thaaaaat sweet

....but did he make electricity by himself, or grow a forest for fire I don't know what he used for boiling chicken and salt. Oh how I love belonging to a locust ruling race of this puny earth. Dildo elephants still travel for hundreds of miles to lick the caves for salt, salmon to its maternity ward, all these stupid birds with inflammation in their wings, instead of just turning the thermostat up. And all I have to do is work some retarded easy "job" to give money to my "salt dealer". We're sooo ungrateful. I'm going to ask for more job for the same salary starting tomorrow

"What Do I have between my teeth? Is it a virgin from a convent or a virgin from chess club? "